Guest Post - The Tenth Kingdom - Part Six

* * * Do you believe in Magic? * * * 

* * *Part Six* * *

A friend of LeedsBookClub (say hello on twitter here!), Marie is writing an EPIC review of The Tenth Kingdom!


Enjoy!


Continued from Part Five!

(Quick recap - Virginia and her father Tony have fallen through a magic mirror from New York into the nine Magical Fairy Kingdom.    

In the company of a Wolf and an enchanted Prince - currently a Dog - Virginia and Tony must travel through the Kingdoms, seeking the evil Queen. She is the Prince's step-mother and has hidden his real body.  

It is only by helping the Prince that they will be able to find another Magic Mirror to take them home...)

*****SPOILERS*****

*****SPOILERS*****

*****SPOILERS*****

When night falls they make their way to the castle but are forced to find another entrance when the guards notice their filthy clothes.


So they swim in through a portcullis in the moat. They make their way through an underwater passage without the usual somebody getting stuck drama!


They find the royal chambers and discover The Queens mirrors Tony activates the travelling mirror and is keen to leave but Virginia wants to see her mother.


It’s at that moment The Queen enters and informs her, her last request is granted. Wolf bows to her and asks if he did well. 


Virginia is devastated (as am I).


Tony and Virginia try to get The Queen to recognise them but she thinks they’re trying some kind of magic on her and has Tony taken away but keeps Virginia to question. She tells Virginia how weak she is, how unwanted, plain lots of hurtful things and even
encourages Virginia to look into her mirror with her. The room starts to get darker and Virginia struggles to breath, she starts to struggle and glances into another mirror and realises that The Queen is trying to strangle her. 


Virginia pulls away and The Queen is shocked she has
been able to resist her. She steps forward to kill Virginia and at the same time Virginia reaches for the comb but its gone! The Queen reveals they have been talking for over an hour and that Virginia has revealed all her pathetic plans. She places the comb into her hair and says the only way it will kill anyone is if it breaks the skin.


Down below the guests in the ballroom are all anxiously awaiting Wendell including a 200 year old Cinderella.

Virginia is put in a cell with Tony and she’s very upset, he decides to tell her how when her mother left she tried to drown her in the bath. (Nice Dad, bet that made her feel loads better).


Up in the Kitchen Wolf is creating a poison to kill the guests. The Queen is very pleased when a chef tries a drop and dies instantly.


The Dog in human form enters the ballroom and The Queen goes and hides with a muzzled and chained Wendell.


Tony has discovered their cell once held one of The Grimm brothers (and no not one of The Grimm’s from the appalling show Grimm). Fortunately for them the mice in the cell speak
German and so translate the message left by Wilhelm Grimm. To escape the cell they need to turn a lever. So they are able to escape. (It’s a really good job they built a lot of these ancient
dungeons with secret escape routes).


The Dog meanwhile must pass three tests before he can be crowned. The first is a question of his bravery. So he tells the tale of how he killed the Troll King. He is then pronounced master of bravery.


They then question his wisdom so he tells them how he has roamed his kingdom and sniffed every hedgerow and found lots of bones. They were so big he was only able to carry one so he has buried the rest! The stupid crowd think this means he’s building up the military reserve and dub him wise Wendell.


Tony and Virginia have now escaped their cell and managed to find weapons. Good thing too as they just opened a door and behind it are The Troll Stooges. They lock the trolls in the room and find another way. Tony decides to stay behind and hold off the Trolls.


For the Dogs final challenge Cinderella asks if he is really the man he claims to be. He says he’s an imposter, he isn’t a Prince he is ordinary. He will never be great like Snow White, he
wasn’t born to lead he’s a pack animal. He’s a retriever not a leader and wants to tear off his clothes and go running in the field. He doesn’t want the job and he isn’t worthy.


Cinderella then announces he has shown humility he has passed the test.


Virginia has found her way onto the gallery above the ballroom only to be grabbed by the Huntsman who tells her she gets to watch. So she can only watch in silence as everyone drinks a toast to Wendell and dies. He drags Virginia into the ballroom just as The Queen enters she tells her that she is very
persistent and tells Virginia she is going to let her go. But Virginia refuses to leave so The Queen tells her she was nothing but an accident and should have been killed at birth. (Bitch).


Virginia slaps The Queen, and The Queen tells The Huntsman to kill her. He raises the crossbow but Wolf knocks him to the ground causing the blot to go straight through the
ballrooms glass ceiling. They fight and The Huntsman is about to stab Wolf when the bolt drops back down and goes straight through The Huntsman’s heart!


The Queen chokes Virginia who is in danger of passing out when she grabs the comb from The Queens hair and stabs her in the neck.


The Queen collapses to the floor and Virginia holds her crying for her not to die. It’s at this moment that Tony bursts in having defeated the Trolls.


The Queens expression softens as she tells Virginia not to cry and that she sold her soul. She dies in Virginia’s arms.


All of a sudden everyone in the room sits up wondering what happened. Virginia is relieved to learn that Wolf swapped the poison for Troll dust. (So he wasn’t really evil, eek).


He lets Wendell go who leaps into the dogs arms and in an instant they’re back in their true forms. Everyone cheers thinking that Wendell saved them.


Two days later Virginia is in a beautiful bedroom after having slept for two days. She’s still devastated she killed her mother despite Wolf’s comforting words.


They all assemble in the ballroom as there is a celebration going on, and Wendell calls them all onto the stage as he wants to give them all a reward.


Tony is dubbed Anthony the Valiant and given a medal. Whilst The Dog is given a collar medal and a gold kennel to live in. (This doesn’t seem very practical wouldn’t it condensate and be very uncomfortable). He also has servants to clear up after him.


However he has no medal for Wolf, who is very upset until Wendell says that instead of a medal he will grant all Wolves a royal pardon in his kingdom. (Yay, Wolf).


Virginia gets a flower that was given to him by Snow White the day she left the castle when he was seven years old.
The Trolls are brought in and sentenced to death until Tony begs that they be sent home and given another chance.


Just before the banquet Virginia slips down to the mausoleum where her Mother’s body is. She places the flower in her mother’s hand where it blooms. (Magic).


She arrives at the banquet and Wolf makes room for her, she decides she would like fish to eat and it promptly arrives, (if you got that service in a restaurant you’d be either wondering
if it was cooked properly or wondering if it had been microwaved).


Anyway the fish arrives and just as she’s tucking into it she spots the engagement ring Wolf was going to give her. (You have to wonder who cleaned the fish if there’s a ring in it. I’d
sack them).


The ring says that it never fails to get its girl and Virginia decides to try it on but that she doesn’t want to get married as she’s too young. However once the ring is on it refuses to
come off. Wolf says that they need to get married so their baby can have a father. 


This causes further protests from Virginia who doesn’t want children. But Wolf says it’s too late for that.
(Dirty Virginia, first time sex with someone unprotected! See once again an example of how unrealistic the earlier sex scene was. Unshaved legs and no protection. Tut).


The story ends with Virginia, Tony, Wendell and Wolf gathered round the mirror. Tony decides to stay behind, seen as he’s still wanted for armed robbery back in New York (and he’s been wanting to go home all along, you have to wonder why he didn’t think about that before).


Virginia and Wolf head back to New York, Virginia’s happy to be home with Wolf in their happily ever after. (Aw).


That’s it. I want more. Where’s my sequel? Where’s my prequel? Come on Sky One MORE!!!!!


Well i hope you all enjoyed my review.

The Tenth Kingdom



Listen to the Tenth Kingdom Soundtrack on Spotify here!
Or watch the videos on YouTube here!


The Tenth Kingdom - Part Six
The Tenth Kingdom - Part Five
The Tenth Kingdom - Part Four
The Tenth Kingdom - Part Three
The Tenth Kingdom - Part Two
The Tenth Kingdom - Part One

* * * * *

Table of Contents - Guest Stars

Guest Post - The Tenth Kingdom - Part Five

* * * Do you believe in Magic? * * * 

* * *Part Five* * *

A friend of LeedsBookClub (say hello on twitter here!), Marie is writing an EPIC review of The Tenth Kingdom!


Enjoy!


Continued from Part Four!

(Quick recap - Virginia and her father Tony have fallen through a magic mirror from New York into the nine Magical Fairy Kingdom.    

In the company of a Wolf and an enchanted Prince - currently a Dog - Virginia and Tony must travel through the Kingdoms, seeking the evil Queen. She is the Prince's step-mother and has hidden his real body.  

It is only by helping the Prince that they will be able to find another Magic Mirror to take them home...)

*****SPOILERS*****

*****SPOILERS*****

*****SPOILERS*****

The Queen is now ensconced in Wendell’s castle when she hears a tapping from one of her mirrors. It’s the Troll Stooges!


They wanted to let The Queen know they are back and if she can tell their dad they are okay. She tells them he’s dead and that Virginia poisoned him. (Ooh, she’s evil).


Tony, Virginia and Prince have made their way up Dragon Mountain and have come to a
cave with a Dragons head opening. (Spooky).
They enter the tunnel and after what seems like hours to them (about a page to us) come to a sign telling them they are in the 9th Kingdom Royal Dwarf Mines.


Shortly after discovering this sign they enter a chamber filled with Dwarves and they see a magic mirror being made. As luck would have it Tony’s bad luck gives them away and the Dwarves aren’t very happy for outsiders to see the birth of a mirror! The penalty for entering
their mines is death and also the dwarves discover that they broke 1 (yes 1) of the great travelling mirrors they’re even more annoyed. So they decide to throw them down an old mine shaft, until they pass a truth mirror and it reveals Wendell’s true form.


They change their minds about killing them and instead decide to give them a tour. The Librarian shows them many types of mirror but can’t help them locate a travelling mirror and suggests asking Gustav (who is a very old mirror). Through much cajoling and rhyming (yes old mirrors talk in rhyme, very helpful) they discover that one mirror was smashed by an idiot, the other lies at the bottom of the sea and the other was stolen by The Queen who he tells them is hiding in Wendell’s castle.


Unfortunately they can’t find out more information as Tony picks that moment to knock over all the mirrors in the room. (Oops). So it’s back to wanting to kill them again. 


So they flee for their lives.


Tony, of course, causes more problems for them along the way by first breaking his wrist and then falling and breaking his back! 


So this forces Virginia to try and find an exit and help all on her own. After travelling for a while she comes to an ice cave, and in the centre of the cave lies Snow White buried in an ice coffin. 


She’s examining the coffin when a voice behind her
says “Hello Virginia”. (You would so shit yourself wouldn’t you)! 

Virginia on the other hand turns round and asks who the person is. Obviously it’s Snow White who reveals she has been
guiding their way and shielding them from The Queen.


She goes on to tell her tale and says that Virginia stands on the edge of greatness and will one day be an advisor to other lost girls. (#Sequel, #Sequel, #Sequel).


She gives her a mirror that will show her what she does and does not want to see and tells her that The Queen will strike with poison and it is also the only way to defeat her. In order to do
this Virginia must find the poisoned comb that the Stepmother tried to kill Snow White with.
(The words needle and haystack spring to mind).


Snow White tells Virginia to embrace the dark and grants her wish of ending Tony’s bad luck and fixing his back. She then tells her she must go to him.


It’s very lucky she did as The Huntsman has found Tony and is about to torture him for V’s whereabouts. Luckily she arrives in time to prevent this and bashes him on the head with the
torch.


Virginia tells Tony to get up, that his back is no longer broken. He’s amazed to discover he can move. Virginia leads him to the ice cave only there’s nothing there now. (Strange, almost
like magic). They find the way out and Virginia pulls out her new mirror. She asks it who the fairest in the land is and The Queen appears in the mirror. They’re both shocked to discover
The Queen is Virginia’s mother.


Part 4: The Prince Formerly Known as Dog.


Virginia is unbelievably shocked to discover her Mother isn’t living in Miami as Tony had told her (it turns out to stop her asking where she was). She’s also a bit miffed he threw her
mirror away but as he points out if they can see her, she can see them.


The Trolls are hot on their trail and have found The Huntsman they decide to team up in order to find Tony, Virginia and Wendell quicker. Tony and Virginia are chatting about her Mum when all of a sudden they’re hit with troll dust and knocked out.
They come too in the back of a wagon chained together. Their only choice is to jump out and leave Wendell. Tony’s not sure why they jumped out if they’re still going to the castle but Virginia says they need to find a weapon.


They come to a sign indicating that there’s two ways to Wendell’s castle 1 is 39 miles and the other is 13 miles. Guess which one they take (and it goes through a swamp, get through there no problem)!


They’re trekking through the swamp when three girls appear telling them that everyone who enters the swamp ends up with the swamp witch. They must remember three things to make it through the swamp; don’t drink water, eat the mushrooms or fall asleep. 


They then disappear, but not before telling them they’re doomed. (What cheerful girls).
They eventually come to an island and decide to have a rest and some food. But before they can eat anything they fall asleep.
Luckily for them Wolf (sigh) is hot on their trail and arrives at the island in time to rescue them from the vines that are dragging them into the water.


Virginia is so pleased to see Wolf (as would we all, am i right ladies)? And walks by his side as they carry on their journey. They come to a shack surrounded by what looks like a mirror
graveyard with mirrors all babbling away to themselves. They realise it’s the swamp witches house and attempt to creep past but she sees them. 


Only lucky for them it’s not a witch it’s
Clayface the Goblin. He invites them in and removes Tony and Virginia’s chains. He then tells them the story of the swamp witch who was actually the original wicked Stepmother. Turns out she’s buried in the cellar (basement to those in the US).


Virginia decides that what she seeks is in the cellar so goes down to look at the body. It’s like an evil version of Snow White’s ice tomb. A horrible voice asks Virginia if she’s lost and then sucks her into a vision.


She sees her Mum running through Central Park crying, and a voice asking her if she’s lost. She turns and see’s The Stepmother in a doorway hanging in midair. Christine (The Queen) sees a gnarled hand reach through. The stepmother promises her if she takes her hand and comes with her she will forget her pain forever. 


So she steps through and The Stepmother says that if she continues her work for her she will give her all her power.
Virginia snaps out of the vision and notices clutched in The Stepmothers hand the poisoned comb she needs to defeat The Queen. (Good job they took that shortcut).


After a meal they leave Clayface’s and continue onwards. Virginia asks Wolf how he found her and he says he could follow her scent across time (sigh, whimper). She says that she didn’t mean to chase him away and she thinks she loves him (Aw).


At the castle The Queen finally has both Wendell’s but she is not pleased they let the girl get away.


The gang are now within sight of the castle and Tony decides it’s time for a cup of tea before going any further. So Wolf volunteers to look for firewood and Virginia unable to leave him
goes too.


The air is electric between them and it’s obvious what’s going to happen, yep Wolf wants to play hide and seek!
When he finds her they play fight and start kissing and then you know what happens. 


(Now it’s at this point I’m thinking this would NEVER happen. Films, TV shows and books get it
so wrong sometimes. Like the classic scene, couple wake up together and start kissing, erm
help what about the dreaded morning breath?! So i find it hard to believe Virginia would have sex with Wolf after she’s been roughing it for days. Come on ladies - admit it things have got hot and heavy with someone and in the back of your mind your thinking “need to stop this not shaved my legs for at least a week”. So unless Virginia has packed really well she needs a good shower, probably needs to shave her legs and pits, brush her teeth etc. It just would not happen; you ladies out there know what i mean.
Okay rant over, apologies on with the review).


Wolf and Virginia finally make it back to Tony looking very dishevelled and Wolf’s tail is sticking out the back of his trousers!


They have their breakfast and see carriages rumbling past so decide it’s best to wait till dark before entering the castle. Virginia tells Wolf The Queen is her mother, but he admits he
knew from her scent. (Urgh). Tony’s concerned about what they’re going to do all day but Wolf and Virginia are going to sleep.


To be concluded...





The Tenth Kingdom



Listen to the Tenth Kingdom Soundtrack on Spotify here!
Or watch the videos on YouTube here!


The Tenth Kingdom - Part Six
The Tenth Kingdom - Part Five
The Tenth Kingdom - Part Four
The Tenth Kingdom - Part Three
The Tenth Kingdom - Part Two
The Tenth Kingdom - Part One

* * * * *

Table of Contents - Guest Stars

Guest Post - The Tenth Kingdom - Part Four

* * * Do you believe in Magic? * * * 

* * *Part Four* * *

A friend of LeedsBookClub (say hello on twitter here!), Marie is writing an EPIC review of The Tenth Kingdom!


Enjoy!


Continued from Part Three!

(Quick recap - Virginia and her father Tony have fallen through a magic mirror from New York into the nine Magical Fairy Kingdom.    

In the company of a Wolf and an enchanted Prince - currently a Dog - Virginia and Tony must travel through the Kingdoms, seeking the evil Queen. She is the Prince's step-mother and has hidden his real body.  

It is only by helping the Prince that they will be able to find another Magic Mirror to take them home...)

*****SPOILERS*****

*****SPOILERS*****

*****SPOILERS*****

Part 3: Enter the Dragon.

Tony and Virginia despite Wolf’s capture are still intending to go home (how nice of them).

Wendell is desperately trying to talk them out of it but to no avail. However after a tearful visit to Wolf Virginia announces that they can’t go home as she has agreed to represent Wolf in his trial.

Tony grudgingly hides the mirror (good plan) and they head off to the trial.

The trial consists of a jury of sheep (no they can’t talk) and the judge sentencing Wolf to death straight away.

Virginia objects to this and is allowed to give evidence in his defence as long as she is quick. She soon discovers that the trial is rigged against Wolf no matter how hard she tries so Tony and Wendell go off to try and find evidence to prove Wolf’s innocence.

Things aren’t going well for Wolf and Virginia as The Peeps have persuaded the judge to burn him and he’s dragged away.

Wendell meanwhile has found Sally’s scent and leads Tony to the Peeps Barn and a now wrecked well.

In the Market Square Wolf has been strapped to a pyre and Wilf is about to light it when(just in the nick of time) Tony arrives. He then proceeds to tell the village about the Peeps diverting the well and how Sally trashed it so Wilf killed her.

He admits that Sally destroyed the well and the rest of the Peeps attack him allowing Tony and Virginia to free Wolf and beat a hasty retreat. They return to the barn only to discover

(surprisingly) that the cart Tony hid the mirror in has gone! (Well what do you expect for hiding it in a bloody cart, duh)!

They have no choice but to travel onwards after the mirror.

The Queen meanwhile is growing frustrated at Wendell’s advisors and their inability to sort out the Troll king who is currently terrorising the Fourth Kingdom.


He refuses to respond to her no matter how hard she tries and unless she can get him under control the fourth kingdom will be divided up in return for the other kingdoms help.

Suddenly a mirror she has never used before summons her into a memory. It takes her back to when she met the Evil Stepmother and was given her mirrors.

“Mirror to travel,

Mirrors to spy,

Mirrors to remember,

Mirrors to forget and

Mirrors to rule the world.”

This reinvigorates her and she is ready... For BATTLE.

Tony, Virginia, Wolf and Wendell have arrived in the Kissing Town, everywhere they go people are kissing and acting lovey-dovey.

They find the cart but surprisingly no mirror. The farmer has sold it as bric-a-brac. (Oops). They split up to look for the mirror Wolf and Virginia end up where Snow White’s glass

coffin was displayed. Wolf tells her that people who get a happily ever after live to at least 150 years old. Nobody knows what became of Snow White as on her 150th birthday she left

her castle with no food and only the clothes she stood in.

Tony and Wendell have found the mirror and also the golden trolls. (Ooh, wonder why they’ve resurfaced). When they find the mirror Wendell has to stop Tony from turning it on, (stupid Tony). He dashes off to find Virginia and Wolf who are busy having their portraits painted. (Working hard then).

They return to the action house only to discover the mirrors special features have been revealed and it has gone up from 15 gold to 5,000. How on earth will they afford that? By gambling of course!

Over at The Queens castle she has gotten hold of Relish the Troll King by telling him his children are dead. (Not very nice is she). He agrees to meet her anyway.

Unbeknownst to Tony, Virginia, Wendell and Wolf The Huntsman is also in Kissing Town. His leg is a mangled ruin but he is determined to complete the job The Queen asked him to do.

Wolf has now won 10,000 gold and is in a panic about Virginia leaving and so he tells he lost all of his money too. While Virginia is watching Tony Wolf sneaks off to debate what to

do in order to avoid losing Virginia. Obviously the only choice is to propose to her and give her the mirror money and spend the rest on presents! (Erm Wolf how about going home with

Virginia and living in her world! Proposing *rolls eyes, sighs and shakes head*).

Back near Little Lamb Village the Queen and Relish are meeting, she admits that she doesn’t know where his children are and also reveals that she had no intention of just ruling the 4th Kingdom but all 9 Kingdoms. 


Relish is eager to know where he fits in but she is hesitant

so he calls forth his men from their hiding places. He brags to The Queen that they have been there for the last hour (good thinking, bet she didn’t think of that). 


Then The Queen reveals that she was there two hours ago poisoning all the apples in the orchard. (I bet his men haven’t eaten any apples). One by one the men crumple until just Relish remains slowly dying.

Things aren’t going well for the gang they’ve all (sort of) lost their money and it looks as though they’ll never get the mirror until Tony’s opponent at Snap (yes Snap) thanks the ‘Lucky dog’ with half her winnings. Lo and behold under the table lies Wendell wearing the placard Virginia hung around his neck. 


Woo-hoo, they have the money!! 


They dash over to the auction just in time to bid on the mirror. But a last minute bid of 10,000 gold comes in from... The Huntsman...

So they’ve lost the mirror Again! And Wolf and Virginia are off on a date sharing their first kiss (sigh) and Tony and Wendell are in a bar drowning their sorrows. (These people have

very low hygiene standards, EHO would be all over that place as well).

Tony receives a message from The Huntsman.

He wants Tony to take the dog to the centre of town and tie him up and leave him, or The Huntsman will smash the mirror. 


Oh no, what are they going to do now?

Only one thing they can do really, stagger out to the town square and try and deduce where The Huntsman has stashed the mirror. Tony ties up Wendell with a loose knot and goes off to get the mirror. (Counting the ways this can go wrong).

At the restaurant Virginia and Wolf are having an amazing time until Virginia questions where he has managed to pay for all of it. This causes Wolf to reveal he won the Jack Rabbit

jackpot. They have a blazing row and Virginia storms out.

A despondent Wolf throws the engagement ring in the river and agrees to return to The Queen.

The Huntsman has arrived in the town square Wendell pulls free at the last minute and dashes off. The Huntsman is unable to shoot him as a crowd of people happen by just as he’s escaping (lucky that). 


Wendell is panicked by cries of The Troll King is dead; Prince Wendell has killed him and a carriage with the dog him hanging out the window with Relishes head.

Whilst this is happening, Tony has retrieved the mirror and is scrambling across the roof with it! Betcha can’t guess what happens?! Yep, Tony drops the mirror.

Tony and Virginia try and collect all of the pieces in the hopes of fixing it but the people in the town start calling Tony a mirror breaker and tell him he’ll have 7 years bad luck. They

drive them out of town so their bad luck doesn’t affect them.

Unfortunately it starts to rain so they have to take shelter in a barn near the town, they examine the mirror fragments and discover writing on the back that says: “Manufactured by the Dwarves of Dragon Mountain”.

(Hmm, i wonder if they’ll travel there looking for another mirror).

Virginia decides to stop at the farm house to see if they have some food but who should come bursting out? Why the Three Trolls of course, newly melted. Luckily they can’t chase them very far before their legs give out from being in one position for so long...

To be continued...





The Tenth Kingdom



Listen to the Tenth Kingdom Soundtrack on Spotify here!
Or watch the videos on YouTube here!


The Tenth Kingdom - Part Six
The Tenth Kingdom - Part Five
The Tenth Kingdom - Part Four
The Tenth Kingdom - Part Three
The Tenth Kingdom - Part Two
The Tenth Kingdom - Part One

* * * * *

Table of Contents - Guest Stars

Guest Post - The Tenth Kingdom - Part Three

* * * Do you believe in Magic? * * * 

* * *Part Three* * *

A friend of LeedsBookClub (say hello on twitter here!), Marie is writing an EPIC review of The Tenth Kingdom!


Enjoy!


Continued from Part Two!

(Quick recap - Virginia and her father Tony have fallen through a magic mirror from New York into the nine Magical Fairy Kingdom.   

In the company of a Wolf and an enchanted Prince - currently a Dog - Virginia and Tony must travel through the Kingdoms, seeking the evil Queen. She is the Prince's step-mother and has hidden his real body. 

It is only by helping the Prince that they will be able to find another Magic Mirror to take them home...)

*****SPOILERS*****

*****SPOILERS*****

*****SPOILERS*****

Okay so when we left Virginia she was with The Huntsman in his tree house. Now this isn’t the cool tree house you always wanted as a kid (or maybe you were a spoiled little sod and had one). This is a horrible place with snares and cleavers and dead animals in (bet it stunk)!


He asks Virginia how her hair came to be so long and when she mentions the Gypsies he tells her that they will not be troubling her again. To which Virginia thinks she will either be dead soon or that he’s killed the Gypsies, either way he is not a nice guy. 
A point that is further proven by him threatening to skin Virginia if she doesn’t tell him where the dog is. 


She then tries to make out the others won’t come looking for her that they don’t care and that the Dog is dead. Obviously he isn’t stupid or he wouldn’t have kidnapped Virginia.


Meanwhile Tony is hiding behind a tree not knowing what to do next when Wolf *sigh* comes back. Tony is angry that the Huntsman has Virginia but Wolf is panic stricken that they have lost her forever, and it would have been better if Tony had been captured as now he has lost his one true love. (Now at this stage all us romantics are sighing and wishing somebody would be like that over us, but would we really like it!)


So Tony and Wolf are wondering aimlessly through the forest trying to find Virginia when they come across a woodsman they ask him if he has seen Virginia to which he replies he’s seen nothing as he is blind. (Seriously a blind woodsman, health and safety would have a field day in this country. Although on the plus side he wouldn’t get annoyed at the sight of hundreds of trees left to cut down, as he wouldn’t be able to see them). 


Now obviously he is the holder of the magic axe that the bird told them about, so Wolf and Tony ask him how much he wants for the axe. This being the land where fairy tales are real he offers them a deal - guess his name and they can have the axe. 


Sounds like a good deal, right? 
Wrong. 


If they don’t guess correctly by the time he’s finished chopping his logs he will cut off Wolf’s head! (They sure are meeting some lovely people). Tony accepts because he knows the Woodcutters name! (If you ask me Tony is a bit of an idiot)!


After guessing wrongly Rumplestiltskin, Rumplestilitskin junior and Rumplestiltskin the fourth and with the wood pile getting dangerously low; we are transported to Virginia and the
Huntsman. He has dragged Virginia into a large room higher up in the tree and proceeds to tell her the story of how he came to be The Queens Huntsman. 


Along time ago the Queen offered him a magic crossbow that hits everything it is aimed at. To keep it, all he has to do is fire it. He fired off wildly -   hitting his son straight through the heart. 


From that moment on - as happens in fairy stories - he has belonged to the Queen. 


Obviously he has told Virginia this so as to let her know that he has nothing except for the hunt to live for so no amount of pleading will sway him. (As i said before what a lovely man).
Meanwhile Tony’s guesses are getting more ridiculous by the second. At one point he even guesses Haagen Dazs! He manages to get a clue out of The Woodcutter (that his name is in his hat).


Meanwhile back on The Tree house (of death) Virginia is trying to discover more about the Queen and questioning how he can follow someone who made him kill his son.


He does a nice little speech about it being his destiny “just as it is my destiny to kill you now”. But then uh-oh the little bells in the tree house go off alerting him to one of his traps
being sprung or somebody being in his forest. That’s lucky - perfect opportunity for a rescue; assuming Wolf and Tony have got the axe.


Across the forest Tony is still no closer to guessing the Woodcutter’s name but luckily another of the birds appears and whispers the name in Tony’s ear. (Good job Virginia freed
them really). 


The Wood cutters name is Juliet (Nasty evil parents).


So Tony and Wolf get the axe and with the help of another magical bird discover where the tree house is.
So Wolf and Tony arrive at the tree and shout to Virginia to come and open the door! *rolls eyes*. They deduce that it is concealed by magic and that cutting the tree down might not be
the best idea with the tree being magical.


Also Virginia is tied up so opening the door not gonna happen.
Wolf then asks the question we all know is coming - “how long is Virginia’s hair”.


Understandably she’s not at all happy with this idea. It is however the only way to get in to free her so Wolf climbs her hair joking all the while about Dandruff and grey hairs whilst
Virginia yells in pain.


Wolf freed Virginia whilst Tony is waiting outside with the axe when The Huntsman returns. Wolf and Virginia are slowly making their way to the door ... when The Huntsman comes in.


It all gets very exciting in this bit, Tony runs up behind The Huntsman but at the last minute he turns and traps Tony in the door. He then grabs Wolf by the throat just leaving Virginia to
help them. She grabs the axe and Wolf is trying to get her to kill The Huntsman, she closes her eyes and swings the axe and hits..... the table. This causes Wolf and The Huntsman to fall
to the floor. Fortunately The Huntsman steps into one of his own traps and it snaps shut on his leg. Wolf uses this opportunity to knock him out and free Tony. He then goes to kill The Huntsman but Virginia stops him because he is defenseless (silly girl).


They recover Wendell and Wolf trims Virginia’s hair a little too short but at least the curse is broken. They then bury the axe as it has serves its purpose and as Wolf points out it might
bring them bad luck seen as it has killed people.


Finally they come out of the forest and the first person they come across is Acorn - unfortunately for them (but not for us readers) he has swapped it for some lambs.
So they must press on in their search and travel on towards Little Lamb Village. (I bet nothing at all will happen here).


Wolf’s not happy as its farm land and he’s coming up to his time of the month. (Turns into a wolf). So he’s quite snappy. They come across a group of shepherdesses and one of them - Sally Peep  - starts flirting with Wolf which annoys Virginia. She drags him away. When they enter the village they meet the Village idiot who is in charge of the wishing well he talks them into making a wish, they all make wishes only to be told that the well has dried up!
(They do keep meeting some interesting people).


They find a place to stay (a nice smelly barn) and find out that the Judge has brought some prizes for the village competition of Acorn. One of them is.... A mirror. Only to get the mirror they must enter the beautiful sheep and shepherdess competition.
They all have a meal in the pub and Wolf is almost beaten up for flirting with Sally Peep again so Virginia drags him away while Tony stays behind and has a drink with the locals.


Sometime later a sozzled Tony is staggering back to the barn the long way when he comes across The Peep farm. So Tony decides to have a nosey around. He comes to the Barn which is very brightly lit and loads of the Peep family had manky looking food with them, nothing like the stuff they’d just eaten at the Peeps pub.


Wilfred the eldest Peep is telling Sally why all the Peep’s things are so good as she’s turned 18, and he reveals that he and his brother diverted the magic wishing well so all the magic of
the well belongs to the Peeps.


As an example they take Sally’s sheep that she was going to enter the beautiful shepherdess competition with and dip him in the water and he comes out as a beautiful golden fleeced
lamb. Wilfred then threatens Sally not to breathe a word or he’ll cut her throat. (Nice man).


The next morning Virginia wakes up to her holding a sheep in her face. He informs her that she is to enter The Beautiful Shepherdess contest and to start making a dress. Wolf comes
back and demands Virginia tie him up so he won’t get into trouble when he turns.


At the competition Tony has produced a lovely pink lamb and Virginia has to sing a sheep song. So she takes the lyrics to We will rock you and makes a song up. 


The competition is a tie between Virginia and Sally so to settle it the judge decided they have to herd their lambs through an obstacle course using only commands and sheep dogs.
As Virginia has no dog Sally cockily assumes that she will win.
Tony has the brilliant idea of using the well to restore Wendell and tells Virginia to stall them!


After being returned to dog form Wendell manages to return to Virginia and herd the lamb through the course with seconds to spare so Virginia wins!

So now Tony and Virginia have the mirror and go home, the end! WRONG!!!!

(This is a fairy tale, why would it be that easy).


They’re preparing to go home and just as they turn the mirror on someone screams that Sally Peep has been murdered and the murderer is da, da, da, daaaahhhhh Wolf!

To be continued...



The Tenth Kingdom



Listen to the Tenth Kingdom Soundtrack on Spotify here!
Or watch the videos on YouTube here!


The Tenth Kingdom - Part Six
The Tenth Kingdom - Part Five
The Tenth Kingdom - Part Four
The Tenth Kingdom - Part Three
The Tenth Kingdom - Part Two
The Tenth Kingdom - Part One

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Table of Contents - Guest Stars